But, it's my blog so I am going to share anyway. I have stated before that I don't have a relationship with my mother. She is abusive and mean and all of the things I hope to never be. My grandparents estate was settled at the end of last week and this was a letter I received today.
23 October 2009
My dear Lindy,
I had devoutly hoped to be able to pay off your student loans in full. This is still a possibility, but I want you to understand my feelings on the matter at this time.
Since you have lived in the house, rent-free, for a year, +,-, now, I consider that to quite a chunk of change that has come your way. In the normally appropriate course of events, that should have been rental income for me, obviously split with you aunt, but it is an income loss for me. Consider your "good fortune" as the first installment in what I hope to give you. I do hope and plan to fulfill my obligation in this regard.
My request to you is this:
I want all of my good jewlery to be returned, anything Eric gave me. This includes but is not limited to my Mikimoto pearl studs, my diamonds (studs) and anything else Eric was kind enough to give me. I hope that you keep the earrings Val and I gave you, as they were a gift in good faith.
Perhaps when you are a mother yourself you will come to understand better any mistakes I made, and forgive me. I love you with all of my heart, and my door is always open to you.
You have all my heart,
Mom
Isn't she loving? I would also like to say that the jewelery was given to me during the years when I was in college when she didn't give me anything for Christmas. It was always given in April or something with an apology of "sorry I didn't give you anything for Christmas, have this". You should also know that she is inheiriting a sizeable estate and my grandparents made it clear to everyone before their death that they wanted her to pay off my student loans. Unfortunately, that was never put in writing.
I don't care about the money. I know my treasure isn't on this earth. It just breaks my heart to see what kind of person my mother is. There is so much more to this story that I wish I could share on this blog, but I do have to draw a line somewhere.
To all of you out there who have good mothers, thank them and hug them. They are a treasure and you are so lucky.
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10 comments:
Be Still and Know That I Am God - Psalm 46:10.
I am actually bawling my eyes out today, because my brother told me today that he doesn't want to be my brother anymore. He is blaming me for the dysfunction that resides in our family of 6. I can't say that I know how YOU feel, but right now I know how I feel, and they are probably pretty close.
My Christian sister, I am with you, heart and soul.
Rojo
I'm so sorry. I wish I could say that I relate, but I don't fully. I have a good relationship with my mother, but I had a horrible childhood. I can honestly say that I have no happy memories. I have moments that I get so angry at what she did and all that I can do now is learn from her mistakes. I will be a different mother to my children.
I wish you peace with everything. I'm sure this is very frustrating.
That's horrible. I honestly can't belive a mother would actually write that (or even think that). The best thing that will come out of this is that you know what kind of mother you won't be. You'll be the exact opposite.
Sending good vibes your way!
Are you seriously complaining about your mother, who you obviously dislike, NOT paying off your debt after you've lived rent free a year? I don't care what agreement was in place. You've gained from her loss and you want her to lose more? At what point is her debt to you forgiven?
Really, pay off your own student loan, give her the jewlery back and take responsibility for your rent and call it a day with her.
Oh anonymous, thanks for not revealing who you are. Coward. I'm not complaining. I stated in the post that I don't care about the money. I actually struggled with whether or not to accept the money, if it was given. My point was that she is very clearly cold hearted. It's really easy to give advice when you read a blog post and know absolutely no history. There are a lot of gory details that I am not going to reveal, but in the future if you so vehemently disagree with me, do me a favor and DON'T READ MY BLOG!
Would it make you feel any better if I told you I had $365.37 saved for blissdom?
Lindy, anyone that knows the whole situation would understand your hurt. Anonymous sounds a lot like STP which tells ya something! Eric and I love you unconditionally and always will. That poor excuse of an egg donor doesn't deserve your worry or tears sweetie! It was her request at some point that she be dead to you... just pretend and party it up... wear read girlie!!
I meant RED....LOL!
You and I both know that the letter is only to hang the carrot of money over you to bring you back into her life. That was the only reason she was ever civil to her own mother. I can't tell you the number of times that she told me she wished your grandmother had died when she had her aneurysm. I know most of the reasons why you feel the way you do. Without going into detail, my advice is to keep her at a distance with something sharp and pointy. I only hope that your mother gets everything she deserves in the future.
As a mother I understand even less how a mother can treat her child the way your mom has treated you. Move on, move on...even when it hurts. I am so so sorry.
I love ya, Sister!
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