1. Relentlessly read decorating blogs and gather 5 zillion ideas
2. Subscribe to at least 5 decorating magazines and purchase the ones you don't subscribe to
3. Shamelessly flirt with man at Sherwin Williams in order for you to get a professional paint color swatch thingy that has all of the colors that they make
4. Stare at said color wheel for hours on end and decide on lots of different colors and take votes from people you know and don't know
5. Change your mind approximately 95.876 times
6. Buy the mini sample paint cans and cover your walls with twelve different shades of paint
7. Decide that none of those samples work for you
8. Begin again at step 4
9. Select color based on the name of the paint. After all, it strikes up a fond memory
10. Purchase curtains to go in room
11. Begin collecting random items to go in room
12. Have approximately five thousand different ideas in your head about what you want to do.
13. Spend 3.5 hours measuring couch and chair for custom slip covers
14. Decide that you don't want custom slip covers because they aren't returnable if they don't fit and you aren't 100% on your measuring skills. Heck, you aren't even 75%
15. Decide to buy new sofa at ikea. In white. Ektorp. Go to Ikea and leave without sofa. Leave instead with chocolate cookies and sparkling cider. Decide that makes it worth the 45 minute trip to store in and of itself
16. Begin priming wall. Take one month to complete that
16.5. Find fabric you like. Decide to have throw pillows made in fabric designed by Amy Butler. Decide you are going with modern french country look, whatever the heck that is. Find fabulous friend to make throw pillows. Begin the heinous process of trying to decide which fabric to pick.
17. Start actual painting. Finish that in a week
18. Decide not to use the furniture you originally planned.
19. Rent rug doctor and clean carpet. Decide that other people are much nastier than you because your rug doctor solution only turned light brown and not black like other peoples
20. Feel much better because you must be a better person because you aren't as dirty.
21. Begin moving furniture into den. Get couch stuck. Stuck really, really good. Say a very bad word. Not the worst word, but a bad one. Feel really guilty.
22. Have genius superhero sister take feet off couch. Watch couch glide through doorway like you greased it with butter.
23. Decide that original decorating scheme is not going to work, much to every one's dismay. Feel lost and hopeless
24. Run-in Wal-mart the next day for a toothbrush and get stopped/distracted by clearance section. Spot 3 "Better Homes and Garden's" pillows on clearance for $5 each.
25. Give birth to new idea
26. Realize that you think you may have previously seen drapes that you want made by "Better Home and Gardens".
27. Run to curtain section, prepared to drop 'bows on anyone who gets in your way.
28. Do not see curtains
29. Go back to work and look online for curtains.
30. Find curtains online for $19.88 a panel.
31. Pull out credit card to order curtains but read reviews first and notice someone found them at their Wal-mart on clearance for $9.00 a panel.
32. Decide not to order curtains.
33. Wait until the next day. Go online to see if they have them on clearance yet. They don't.
34. Click on "find in store" button to see if any stores near you have them.
35. Find store that says they have them in stock and travel to store 20 miles away on lunch break to see if they have curtains. They don't.
36. Send sister to another store 20 miles away on her lunch break to find curtains. The two of you think she has found them and they are $14.88 a panel. She buys them. You are very excited.
37. Decide on your way home from work to stop by yet another Wal-mart to see if you can find yet another $5 pillow.
38. Find curtain clearance section. The first curtain that you see is the curtain that you want and realize that it is not the curtain that your sister bought earlier. Call sister and verify. Decide curtain is $15.88 and that you like it much better than one sister bought and purchase it. But not before you spend 45 minutes looking at all of the other curtains because you only found one panel and you need two.
39. Proceed to register and purchase curtain. Do big happy dance when curtain rings up for $5.00!
40. Call sister in car on way home and explain that you will be hitting all Wal-mart's within a one hour radius tonight to look for missing curtain.
41. Do not find missing curtain at any other Wal-mart.
42. Sister resolves to check once more at Wal-mart that she originally bought two $14.88 curtains.
43. Spends 30 minutes sorting through boxes of clearance curtains. Finds curtain!
44. Hang curtains
45. Wonder how you strayed so far from original idea.
46. You began with white couches and pastels and ended up with chocolate brown couches and reddish pink and greenish and goldish faux silk plaid curtains.
47. Begin looking at Amish barn stars to buy to hang on wall.
48. Wonder what in the "h-e- double hockey sticks" your contractor has done with your heart pine mantle you ordered six months ago. Briefly consider breaking his kneecaps but decide it isn't worth the jail time or the guilt.
To be continued....